Hugging
by Twist
Summary: Looking For GroupLFG Richard the warlock isn't feeling himself. Cale tries to cheer him up. The closest to RichardCale slash I will ever be able to bring myself to write. T for light fantasy violence.


**Hugging**

By: Twist, based wholly on the works of Ryan Sohmer and Lar DeSouza.

Disclaimer: Twist does not own, nor is she affiliated with and of the works of Ryan Sohmer and Lar DeSouza, including the online and published comic 'Looking For Group'. Twist is neither profiting from nor attempting to profit from this piece of fan work.

Dedicated to: iloverichard, Lunaya, and all the other crazy folks over at the LFG message boards. Especially Wiseguy, without whom I never would have considered writing this fic (it's all your fault).

--

Cale'Anon flinched almost imperceptibly as a troll-fired arrow shattered on the magically conjured shield about three inches from his face. Next to him, Benny, a fairly powerful priestess in her own right as well as his traveling companion, forced more power into the shield so that Cale could let off a volley of arrows into the surrounding pack of troll bandits.

"I'm not sure how much longer I can hold this shield!" Benny shouted over the battle cries of the bandits.

"You won't need to much longer!" Cale replied, glancing over his shoulder. Two familiar shadows were visible on the ridge, one huge, bulky and horned and the other thin and dark. Benny glanced back herself and smiled. "You know, I never thought I'd be happy to see that warlock."

"Oh, he's not bad, in his own way," Cale mused lightly, despite an axe swipe from a nearby troll that almost took his right ear off.

"Yeah, that whole murdering of infants thing is just an understandable character quirk."

A rumbling from behind signaled the arrival of Krunch, who charged headlong into the pack of trolls, swinging his mace wildly. Trolls flew left and right, crying out as the mace, or Krunch, or maybe one of Cale's arrows, hit them. In seconds, Krunch had polished off the bandits Benny and Cale had been struggling to hold back for about fifteen minutes.

"You should exercise more caution, Gid," Krunch reprimanded gently, tugging his mace free of one troll's chest cavity.

"We were sitting in the camp, how is that not cautious?" Benny groaned, rolling her eyes. She paused and looked around. "I am noticing a distinct lack of gratuitous carnage and bloodshed – where's Richard?"

Krunch grunted. Cale and Benny groaned. "He didn't pass out again did he?" Cale asked. "Please say no, I don't want to carry him again."

"No, he didn't pass out again," Krunch sighed. "I'm not sure. He's acting . . . strangely."

"Richard, strange?" Benny muttered. "I thought the two things were mutually inclusive." Sure enough, however, when they rounded the small tree and enormous, squat bush that rendered the clearing they were camping in invisible from the road, Richard was acting strangely. Well, differently might be a better word. Where he would normally be out finishing off the merely unconscious of the bandits in sickeningly gruesome ways and perhaps making a piece of modern sculpture out of the bodies, he was instead sitting on a rock, idly poking the fire with a fork. Benny, Krunch and Cale all stopped, sharing a puzzled expression.

"Well that's downright bizarre," Benny managed eventually.

"He looks almost morose," Cale muttered. "What did you two do?"

"Scouted," Krunch said quietly. "Bordered the town, stayed out of sight. Nothing out of the ordinary."

"Did he kill anybody? Or did anybody try to kill you?" Benny probed, watching as Richard twirled the fork around boredly.

"No, we didn't even see anyone," Krunch replied.

"Huh." Cale paused. "There must be something."

"What?" Benny put her hands on her hips and smirked at the warlock, who was watching Sooba chase a butterfly with a distinctly uninterested expression. "You're suggesting an animated corpse is going through an emotionally trying time?"

"He's more than just a corpse!" Cale stuttered, wondering why he was bothering to defend Richard, who was more than capable of defending himself. "I mean, corpses don't usually _do_ the things Richard does, right?"

"You mean walk, talk, and incinerate people while making jokes that are in extremely poor taste? No, that's not usually on their agenda, no," said Benny airily.

"Well then it stands to reas – Where's Krunch?" Cale looked back, to where Krunch had been standing a mere minute ago.

Benny turned as well. "I dunno. Maybe he went to get some happy pills for our warlock friend in there." She paused. "You think they'd actually make him happy?"

"More than a mass slaughter? No, probably not," Cale replied, not really paying attention. Krunch was making his way back to camp. "Is everything alright?"

Krunch shook his head. "Most of the trolls were dead, true enough, but it looks like some were only unconscious. I think they might be off getting reinforcements."

"What makes you think that?" Benny asked sharply.

A battle cry sounded through the small valley the group was camped in. "Instinct," Krunch said tiredly, inclining his head toward the source of the noise. "I have a feeling it wasn't bandits, either. By the looks of their supplies it was a small hunting party. We may have encroached on the borders of a nearby town."

"Well that's just fantastic," Benny muttered. "What now?"

"I would judge our chances of survival should we choose to run low," Krunch said thoughtfully. "I suppose that leaves fighting. I doubt just the three of us can control a large group of warriors well enough." He nodded to Richard. "Someone needs to get that warlock fired back up."

Cale and Krunch looked expectantly at Benny who threw up her hands. "Men!" She shook her head. "If you two want to have a heart-to-heart with Richard, be my guest. But I think I used up my persuasion points with him back with that portal."

"But that was a while ago," Cale wheedled. "Surely he's forgotten by now?"

"You understand him enough to make him angry, Gid," Krunch encouraged.

"No way," Benny said firmly. "This isn't just he's tired, or lazy, or distracted. This is something else, and I'm not messing with him."

Cale looked concernedly to Richard. "Maybe he's lonely."

"Ha!" Benny and Krunch laughed in unison.

Cale stepped forward into the clearing. "Maybe he needs a hug!"

Richard looked up sharply. "I don't want a hug, elf-boy," the warlock grumbled, eyes narrowing. He twirled the fork dangerously. "Not all of us are gender-perplexed."

"Oh gods, this isn't going to go well," Benny muttered to Krunch, who put a protective hand on her shoulder.

Cale stepped forward, arms spread wide. "Give me a hug, Richard!"

The warlock rose and took a step back, looking slightly uncertain about the etiquette of killing one's traveling companion, but mainly looking very dangerous. "No."

"Hugging!" And before Richard could make so much as a spark, Cale had the warlock in a rib-crushing embrace. "There, now isn't that better?"

"Decidedly not," Richard snarled. Benny and Krunch were careful to note that what looked like molten iron was leaking out of Richard's clenched fists. Cale jumped back as a spark started a small fire on his cloak. "I'm going to kill you now, Cale, but slowly, so I can enjoy it more," Richard mused, stating a small flame between two of his fingers.

A battle cry rang through the valley once more, closer this time. Krunch glanced hurriedly over his shoulder. "Warlock, I don't suppose you could hold off killing Cale for a small amount of time? Only we're about to have company and I think we might want Pinky around for a few more minutes."

Richard regarded Cale in the manner of a tiger watching a clueless, effeminate deer. "Fine," he said at last. "The suspense will make it more enjoyable in the end anyway." Cale noticeably sagged with relief as Richard stepped past Cale, setting one of his shoulder-pads on fire as he did so. Cale patted the fire out and followed the other three out into the valley, and was confronted by a rather daunting sight.

At least thirty troll warriors were lined up, shoulder-to-shoulder, facing the clearing the party had been occupying up to a moment ago. Richard sized them up and then nodded imperceptibly. "I always did like wooden armor," he said, a definite smirk in his voice. The troll in the center of the line then apparently spontaneously combusted. The rest charged.

Cale stayed near the rear as best he could, firing as quickly s possible. Benny stood behind Krunch, once again holding a protective shield around the other three. Richard was happily slaughtering his way through the crowd, tearing heads off almost idly as he went.

"Not bad, Pinky," Krunch grunted, swinging his mace through a pack of three trolls.

"It was nothing, really," Cale said modestly. "You know, sometimes when he's feeling down, all Dick really needs is a hug."

Richard was at least ten feet in front of them, in the very thick of the battle. There was no _possible_ way he could have heard Cale. And yet, no sooner had Cale finished his sentence then Richard spun around, hands fully engulfed in flames.

"That's two for one, Girly," the warlock snarled viciously. Behind him, seven trolls who had been bearing down burst into flames so intense they almost instantly disintegrated. "I am going to enjoy melting your face off so, so much."

Krunch glanced around. "Hey Pinky?"

"Yes?" Cale whimpered, fumbling his arrow so badly that it only shot about two feet before falling to the ground.

"I think the warlock's thinned them out enough for only three of us to handle."

"Why?" Cale asked. "Who's leaving?"

"I would suggest," Krunch said slowly, "that you begin running now, preferably to somewhere rocky."

"Why rocky?"

"Because if your ashes are spread out in any dust or dirt, Gid here's going to have a heck of a time keeping your ashes separate from anything else."

"True that," Benny smirked.

"Don't be silly, I wouldn't –" Cale started, before watching Richard pull a troll's tusks clean out of his head and then ramming them – now fully engulfed in flames – back up the warrior's nose. The elf dropped one more arrow before swallowing and slinging his quiver over his shoulder.

"I'll see you at the gorge."

"Run fast!" Benny called after the elf's retreating back. "We'll try to talk him out of it on the way over, but no promises!"

In front of Benny and Krunch, Richard had made short work of the rest of the warriors. He brushed his hands clean and turned around, eyes gleaming. "Well that was _fun_."

"Thank you," Krunch said carefully.

"Yeah, whatever," said Richard, waving a hand dismissively. Well, it would have been dismissively had a stream of sparks not rained from his palm. "Now where's the elf? I want to give him a _hug_."

--

End


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